What Do You Think I Should Do??

I Asked You A Question....

All of my blog posts come out of things that I do in my life which is why I have to share them with you and the lessons they teach me.

Question: When was the last time you did something, without asking someone for their opinion on it first?

What Are Your Thoughts?

Seriously though we do it all the time! Before we make any big decisions we always feel this need to go and ask someone else what they think on the idea. I even do it when I'm deciding what to have for dinner or what to wear out. It's crazy in a way! We don't trust ourselves enough and so we need validation from people around us before we commit to anything.

Here's What I've Found

Humans are pack animals, we thrive on community and that stems from our ancestors. To be pushed out or exiled would mean death. We needed each other to actually survive years ago and so you HAD to get approval from the people around you.

Now, the life or death scenario has largely been removed from that equation.

BUT, the need for validation hasn't!

We crave the approval of others because we do not want to step outside the tribe and become excluded. We still have this herd mentality inside of ourselves and so we always seek out approval.

But Here's What Happens!

When asking advice from people on decisions in your life, more often that not, you are asking the wrong people.

I see it a lot in the network marketing field, people connect with someone in network marketing, they love the idea of the business and want to jump straight in.

Then, they run around to tell their best mate, someone who has NEVER started a business in their life and she says: "I wouldn't do that, everyone gets scammed and it's only the people at the top who get paid"

And that's it! End of conversation, end of business and end of a possible amazing life change. All because you asked someone what they thought about your life.

If you truly want to ask advice that isn't for the purpose of feeling validated or included.

Go and speak to someone who is ACTUALLY doing the thing you want to do, ask someone who has made it work what their thoughts are on the subject.

You wouldn't ask a Doctor what it takes to become a professional footballer, you'd go and ask a professional footballer what it takes, right???

Here's What Could Happen!

You see an opportunity, you ask someone in that field their thoughts, you decide to jump all in and give it your all.

Someone in your life then offers their advice for free and without being asked!

Why do people do this?

People do genuinely care and when they've heard back things they do want you to know
You stepping out of the norm is uncomfortable for them
When people are uncomfortable, they project their feelings on to you and try and pull you back down to their level. Back to a version of you that they know best and a version they feel more comfortable around.

If you are asking for validation all the time, it's because you don't have FULL trust in yourself to make the decision on your own. You need someone else to back up your feelings and ideas. I know, I've been there and sometimes I still find myself slipping back in certain areas of my life.

Try this

Next time you have a decision to make, recognise who you instantly want to go to for advice, STOP YOURSELF and make the decision on your own. Even start on something small, like picking an outfit to wear on a night out. When you've done it, see how it makes you feel, see if you feel more empowered having made a decision for yourself about yourself. Then, come back to this post and share what happened with me! I'd love to hear all about it.

Better yet, head to my Instagram and share it with me on there Paige | Mindset Coach (@_turnanewpaige_) •

Now,

Turnanewpage x