I Don't Want a Happy Ever After

This isn't as doom and gloom as it sounds but I feel like it's been an important shift in my personal growth, and so I had to share it.

This realisation came to me after I finished watching a film franchise called After which is focused on a young girl who falls for the 'bad boy' at college.

Of course, it follows the standard line of, she falls for him, he then falls for her, he then breaks her heart, and you know the rest.

However, it was in the last two films, that I started to become aware of this thought I was having.

I wanted to be a Disney Princess

I'm a 90s baby and so I grew up watching Disney films, and I still love them to this day! Granted it did totally mislead me into believing men like that existed, and of course they don't. That doesn't mean that there aren't some wonderful men in the world, they just don't have giant castle and come charging down to whisk you away to a happily ever after. Despite the disappointment, I loved the idea of love, and I was excited about the thought of finding my someone. I wanted it all, the marriage, the kids and the beautiful house.

But life happens

My perspective has shifted throughout the relationships I have had with others and with myself. I still love the idea of love, but my expectation of what I want has shifted. That's what I noticed when I was watching this film After, I loved the couple and their love for one another, but it wasn't that straightforward. They repeatedly hurt one another, and they went back and forth with their relationship. It was a powerful love, but a toxic one and it brought back a lot of memories from relationships I have been in before.

Getting to the point

I used to watch films like this and want the couple to eventually work things out and live happily ever after. Now when I watch them, and I see the pain that comes with the love, I want the woman to walk away.

I find strength in women who have the courage to walk away from relationships that are not serving them, despite how much it will hurt. It's a strength I wish I had in my earlier years and one I want now. Right now, I am in a loving and caring relationship, but should that ever change, I'd hope I'd have the strength to walk away if it's what's best for me.

I think that's why I enjoyed the film 'The Breakup' with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. It was a real situation, and it didn't end with them just working it out and getting back together. They realised that what they had, was no longer what either of them needed, and so they moved on.

Tessa & Hardin from After

Love is a beautiful thing and I love seeing it in my life and in the lives of people around me. Yet, I wish films would start to represent a more realistic representation of what relationships are like and to show that sometimes, people are just bad for one another, no matter how hard they love.

There are still two more films in this franchise that haven't been released, so I may change my mind by the time I have watched them.

Have you watched this franchise? I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Let me know by commenting here or send me a DM on my Instagram Paige | Mindset Coach (@_turnanewpaige_) • Instagram photos and videos.

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