Here goes nothing!

Welcome!

I'm not going to lie, I have no idea what it means to blog or where this page will take me. What I do know is that I want to share more of my voice, more of my story and more support and guidance to you.

I've never been one for sharing my voice authentically, I spent most of my life being the person I believed everyone wanted me to be. That meant being the loud, annoying one, being the bitch, being the girl who appears confident, being the "promiscuous" one, talking openly about every area of my life. What did that give me? A very long list of insecurities, plenty of negative self talk and a whole load of negative emotions to mix in.

I forgot who I was! Who was this woman staring back at me in the mirror and what did she want from life. Were the things I was chasing truly what I wanted out of life, or did I believe I wanted them because I'd spent the majority of my life being told that was what I should want?

Over these past 2 -3 years, I have been fortunate to meet some incredible people who have opened my eyes to a whole new way of thinking. People who are breaking away from societal norms, living life on their terms, choosing to live a happier life, finding the good in bad situations and accepting responsibility for the life they lead. Basically, everything I'd stopped being so many years before.

So why now am I starting this blog?

This past month, I finally got back onto a plane and spent 2 weeks on a holiday in Phuket, Thailand. In that time I spent a lot of time journaling through the many emotions and thoughts that came my way. Everything from anger and jealousy to contentment and gratitude. I'd also been introduced to a programme called Notion which became my online space for journaling. Which, if you are like me and you work in a 9-5 where you spend 8 hours a day on a laptop, writing with a pen on a bit of paper just gives me hand cramp. So, despite wanting to spend less time on technology, I found that I got out a lot more of my thoughts and feelings when I was able to journal on my personal device. Back to the previous point, finally having more time in my day whilst on holiday, I found myself feeling more creative and having a desire to share my feelings on 'paper'. It was so therapeutic to get out the words in my head because my head is exactly like the Energiser Bunny, constantly on the go. I journaled on every feeling that came up and it helped me to recognise two things:

1. How far I have come on my own personal journey of self discovery and awareness.

2. The areas of my life I needed to switch my focus to and how to work through the feelings I was having.

There's been times in my life when I have felt so alone, even when surrounded by a room full of people and in those times I have found it hard to deal with the feelings that came up. What I you to feel when you read my blog, is this sense that you are NOT alone. We all crave this feeling of acceptance and understanding from someone who has experienced the same thing before and in sharing my voice, that is what I hope to give.

If you are reading this, firstly, thank you for getting to this point and secondly, I hope my journey guides and supports you along yours in whatever way you need.

Now,

Turnanewpage x