Happiness! Hello Again!

I recently had the pleasure of getting to go on an actual holiday this year to Thailand. My first one outside of the UK since pre-covid. Whilst I was there, I journaled a lot on my varying feelings and emotions. This one in particular I really wanted to share with you because it is me, when I feel I am truly connected to my higher self. Enjoy.

It’s the first of May and the first of many WOW moments as I sit here in Phuket, Thailand by the pool in 31 degree heat.

Having just had an hour long foot massage, where the lovely lady had to handle my mosquito bitten legs for the whole time, I am feeling well and truly relaxed.

I feel like ME for the first time in a long time. I have had fleeting glimpses through the few staycations I had during these past 2 years but this is a whole new level. Being in a new country, experiencing new things, seeing new places, meeting new people and all with the man I love is something else entirely. Every morning I get to wake up next to this person and smile because he is a major part to how I am feeling right now. Although I have come to learn that things, places and people can’t give me total happiness and that it must come from within, I also know that they can play a big part in adding to the cup I am always seeking to fill.

That cup is self love and for years I spent my time looking outwards for the things I THOUGHT would fill it for me. I mean I wasn’t even aware that I had a CUP or that I was subconsciously trying to fill it everyday but there I was. I looked for it in friends, in drama, in gossip, in TV, in books, boys, social media, the attention of other and work. The list was endless and yet I never felt as good back then as I do today. TODAY I know what fills my cup and I know exactly how to get it. Now I know that I need to fill my cup with internal acts such as sleeping often, eating well, moving my body often and in different ways, spending time with family, friends and/or my boyfriend, travelling to new places, helping people out and so many more. I do them because they make me feel good not because I SHOULD do them.

So many people get caught up in doing things because they feel they SHOULD be doing them and forget to do things purely because they WANT to do them. Maybe right now this is you? Maybe you are so busy looking after everyone around you that you can’t see how empty your cup is?

Are you even aware of what your cup needs in order to fill it?

Maybe you do know what works but you aren’t PRIORITISING time for them, maybe you are using the ‘I’m busy’ flag and waving it at every opportunity you get! I’m saying this to you because we are ALL BUSY and yet life will still keeping passing you by. That clock will always be ticking, there is no someday or one day, time isn’t waiting until you have the money or the time or the freedom so you have to CHOOSE to prioritise yourself today!

If you are new to this whole ‘putting myself first thing’ then start small. Just do one thing a day that makes you feel good and do so for 30 days. Then add in something else and so on and so forth. If you are a people pleaser or a parent or just someone nice, guilt will seep in to start with (or sometimes always) but remind yourself that without looking after you, you can’t fully look after others.

If you are a total newbie and want to start putting yourself first more and filling your own cup, I would recommend sitting down and writing a list of all the things you enjoy doing. Write down EVERYTHING, even the most minute acts like having a cup of tea if that’s something you enjoy. Once you have that list, go further and ask yourself WHY you enjoy those things. You may find that some of that list isn’t actually something you enjoy but something society has told you to enjoy and somethings may truly make you feel GOOD.

I’m going to shut my laptop down now because I have to get back to sitting in this feeling of gratitude right now and fully step into filling up my own cup with experiences, love and happiness.

Now,

Turnanewpage x