Getting Out of Debt

This is a hard topic to talk about because it's very personal to me and it's an ongoing thing.

But, I wanted to share it with you because I am finally moving into a better place with my debt and how it makes me feel.

Where it started

When I first met my partner back in 2018, I had not long returned from travelling New Zealand.

I returned with a bit of money but not a lot and I didn't plan on staying in the UK for long.

My first step was to get a job so I could build back up my funds up, so I could go straight back to travelling.

However, I soon realised that I didn't want to get another temporary job just to make money. I was sick to death of hospitality, working long days and unsociable hours. So instead, I took on a job in an internship for Administration! The one downside............it took 5 months for my first official day.

What did this mean?

I spent from December 2018 until August 2019 not earning ANY money. Something I am not proud of or comfortable admitting, because, in that time I could have found a temporary job but I felt so much resistance. Plus, I wasn't aware at the time, that it would take 5 months for the job to start.

The toughest part of all of that, was being at the start of a new relationship. Generally, in the beginning stages of a new relationship you go out and spend money. Whether out for a meal, going for drinks, day trips or just little gifts, money is generally involved.

In those first 8 months

I had a lot of conflicting feelings towards the relationship as I wanted to go out and do things with him, and yet I couldn't stand him paying for everything.

I was raised by my parents to be hard working, pay my own way and to never get into debt and yet here I was, sliding into debt in a new relationship.

I have never had a connection like I have with my partner, he is incredible, caring and so damn supportive. He took a chance on me when I was at my lowest and battling demons and he supported me when I wanted to start an online business.

Cut to 3 years later

I still owe him money for all he has done for me, in business, in life and just random generous acts.

I hold a lot of shame around this because it makes me feel like a failure and I feel like I have held him back too.

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I needed this to change!

So in May this year, I knew I needed to finally make a change! This debt wasn't going to go away and neither was the shame. So I had to do something differently. I knew I wasn't going to be able to pay it off in one hit but I needed to start bringing that number down.

Here's what I did:

1. I worked out exactly what I owed and for what

2. I worked out how much I could feasibly pay off each month

3. I started a tracker - it allowed me to see what's going in and see the total coming down.

Just doing those 3 things made such a huge difference to my mental health and I would like to think it made a difference in our relationship.

Do I wish I could pay it back in full, in one hit? Absa-freaking-lutely! But I had to be realistic and now I can start to make a change without so much pressure.

If you are in debt right now to someone or something, I want you to know that you are NOT alone. I understand the stress and the shame that comes from being in debt whether it's good debt, or bad debt. If you can find a way to chip away at it slowly, give it a go and see how it feels.

Sending love to you all and thank you for reading this post.

Now,

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